Trying something new, like --- coloring my hair a LIGHT MOCHA color (:
If it doesn't work out, back to either light brown or black.
But we'll see.
Pictures to come! :D
<3
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Don't Waste Your Time On Me.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
I have known you since Fall 2006. At that time, you were with someone. You kept telling me you weren't with her, yet I saw you two kiss every now and then. It's funny, when you asked how old I was, and you showed me your ID and we had the same birthday. The next day, she signs on your MySpace account and tries to start a fight with me, over you. Waste of my time. We only had one dance together, and it was our last. It's so hard to tell you, but we're not meant to be together. You are truly amazing, but of all the girls out there, of all people... What make me stick out the most in the crowd? Why me? You kept disappearing on me. I wouldn't hear from you every now and then, no calls, no text messages. When you came through, you expected me to give up the most valueable part of me to you in such a short amount of time. You lived an hour away. But you were willing to make it work. The problem was, I wasn't like that and it was too late.
Around the holidays, I had met someone. Someone who was willing to be patient with me. At that time, you would call and text me most often, telling me you're better than him. Telling me, he's going to hurt me and he's not as patient as he says he is. You wouldn't give up on me. But, you left me before without a word, and that's why I moved on. You put me in that position where I was "torn in between the two cuz I really wanted to be with you". Just thinking about it, I'm not the person to run back to the past. And you left me once before, how would I know that you won't do it again. I moved on, and wanted you to move on. Months went by, and you were still by my side waiting for me. You were there for me more than my own boyfriend at that time. My first dance competition since I lived in Colorado, he didn't even bother come, and surprisingly you showed up. You proved me wrong that day. He did hurt me and his patience with me didn't last. I didn't show it to you, but somehow you figured it out. Maybe cuz my friends were around and sympathizing me lol. It's okay. We started talking after that day, I remember. A couple months past and I think we were about to make it official, but again, you disappeared on me, again. So I didn't bother to stay around and wait for you.
My Senior Ball was right around the corner, and you were still nowhere to be found or heard. I was dateless, so I decided to ask my friend. It would've been different, if you came. But you were gone.
Graduation Day finally came, my best friend came through to see me walk, and still no word from you. Yes, I waited to hear from you for a while, and I was dating someone (unofficially). My dad was in Iraq, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't stay. So my mom called me and asked if I would like to live with her again. There was no turning back, I decided to leave California a couple days after my graduation. I was packing up all my stuff and recieved a missed call, it was you. So angry that were disappeared for so long, I didn't bother to call you back. The next day, loading my stuff in my friends truck, I got another missed call, it was you, again. I didn't bother to call back, especially when none of my friends liked you anymore, even if I did decide to call you back, knowing my friends, they would've taken my phone and hung it up before you even answered. We stopped by my friend Aron's first, to drop off some of my stuff and I'd be back to come pick it up later. Afterwards, we headed to the airport, you called again, and I ignored it. When we got to the airport, unloaded the truck, and said goodbyes, I was walking to the gate and you called again. I finally managed to answer without wanting to scream at you. You asked, "what are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm at the airport."
"Why?"
"I'm going to live with my mom in Las Vegas."
"Oh. Why are you gonna live with her?"
"Cuz I want to, and my stepmom doesn't want me here."
"You can live with me."
"Why would I want to live with you? You've been gone for how long.."
"I'm sorry."
"It's too late for apologies, I have to go."
"Can I come visit you?"
"No, I have to go. Bye."
I hung up the phone. You called back, but I didn't answer. I was about to board the plan and turned off my phone. When I got to Las Vegas, I got 2 voice messages from you. I deleted them before they were even finished. A month past by, I already got a new job, and met someone new, Jeremy. Our birthday past, and no calls or texts, I haven't heard from you since the airport. September 2007, Jeremy and I were already official. I received a call from a number I didn't recognize, when I answered it was you. You tried to apologize, but it was already too late. Hearing that I had met someone else, set you off. I remember you said, "if you want to be with a real man, hit me up." Then you hung up, I haven't heard from you since. I was furious and didn't want anything to do with you, so I deleted your number, text messages, everything.
A year passed, it was our birthday, July 20, 2008. You instant messaged me, saying "Happy Birthday to us, I miss you." I ignored you, it made me curious to know if you were with someone new, but I didn't let it bother me. Another year passed, July 2009. You instant messaged me, you said, "Hey remember me?"
"Yeah..." I replied back.
"Our birthday is coming up. What are you doin'?"
"I know, I'm excited. Chillin', what about you?"
"Oh I see, chillin'. What's your number?"
"(123-456-7890)" <- not my number LOL!
Then you out of the blue called me.. I was getting ready to leave to hangout with my girl Nickie. You apologized for everything, and said what was up. It got to talking about how it was when I lived in Cali, till now. You said you missed me and you want me to move back. Start over. But I've been with Jeremy for 2 years, I love him. I'm not the type of person to go back to the past. You tried to get in the middle of me and Jeremy. I live somewhere else now and I'm happy. I told you everything that was on my mind and that we should be friends, nothing more.. You said you understand, but you didn't want to be friends cuz it's hard for you, especially cuz you want me. I'm sorry things are the way they are now. You were the one who kept disappearing, while I waited. I'm done with it, I found someone who I've been with for over 2 years now and I'm happy and in love.
You called me today at midnight. Telling me you, your cousin and his friends are all driving down here from the bay. If you're driving down here to Vegas just to see me, it's not worth it. I'm not worth a 6 hour drive for you. If were friends, let it be. There's a someone for everyone. She's out there, I know she is. Please, don't waste your time on me..
I have known you since Fall 2006. At that time, you were with someone. You kept telling me you weren't with her, yet I saw you two kiss every now and then. It's funny, when you asked how old I was, and you showed me your ID and we had the same birthday. The next day, she signs on your MySpace account and tries to start a fight with me, over you. Waste of my time. We only had one dance together, and it was our last. It's so hard to tell you, but we're not meant to be together. You are truly amazing, but of all the girls out there, of all people... What make me stick out the most in the crowd? Why me? You kept disappearing on me. I wouldn't hear from you every now and then, no calls, no text messages. When you came through, you expected me to give up the most valueable part of me to you in such a short amount of time. You lived an hour away. But you were willing to make it work. The problem was, I wasn't like that and it was too late.
Around the holidays, I had met someone. Someone who was willing to be patient with me. At that time, you would call and text me most often, telling me you're better than him. Telling me, he's going to hurt me and he's not as patient as he says he is. You wouldn't give up on me. But, you left me before without a word, and that's why I moved on. You put me in that position where I was "torn in between the two cuz I really wanted to be with you". Just thinking about it, I'm not the person to run back to the past. And you left me once before, how would I know that you won't do it again. I moved on, and wanted you to move on. Months went by, and you were still by my side waiting for me. You were there for me more than my own boyfriend at that time. My first dance competition since I lived in Colorado, he didn't even bother come, and surprisingly you showed up. You proved me wrong that day. He did hurt me and his patience with me didn't last. I didn't show it to you, but somehow you figured it out. Maybe cuz my friends were around and sympathizing me lol. It's okay. We started talking after that day, I remember. A couple months past and I think we were about to make it official, but again, you disappeared on me, again. So I didn't bother to stay around and wait for you.
My Senior Ball was right around the corner, and you were still nowhere to be found or heard. I was dateless, so I decided to ask my friend. It would've been different, if you came. But you were gone.
Graduation Day finally came, my best friend came through to see me walk, and still no word from you. Yes, I waited to hear from you for a while, and I was dating someone (unofficially). My dad was in Iraq, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't stay. So my mom called me and asked if I would like to live with her again. There was no turning back, I decided to leave California a couple days after my graduation. I was packing up all my stuff and recieved a missed call, it was you. So angry that were disappeared for so long, I didn't bother to call you back. The next day, loading my stuff in my friends truck, I got another missed call, it was you, again. I didn't bother to call back, especially when none of my friends liked you anymore, even if I did decide to call you back, knowing my friends, they would've taken my phone and hung it up before you even answered. We stopped by my friend Aron's first, to drop off some of my stuff and I'd be back to come pick it up later. Afterwards, we headed to the airport, you called again, and I ignored it. When we got to the airport, unloaded the truck, and said goodbyes, I was walking to the gate and you called again. I finally managed to answer without wanting to scream at you. You asked, "what are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm at the airport."
"Why?"
"I'm going to live with my mom in Las Vegas."
"Oh. Why are you gonna live with her?"
"Cuz I want to, and my stepmom doesn't want me here."
"You can live with me."
"Why would I want to live with you? You've been gone for how long.."
"I'm sorry."
"It's too late for apologies, I have to go."
"Can I come visit you?"
"No, I have to go. Bye."
I hung up the phone. You called back, but I didn't answer. I was about to board the plan and turned off my phone. When I got to Las Vegas, I got 2 voice messages from you. I deleted them before they were even finished. A month past by, I already got a new job, and met someone new, Jeremy. Our birthday past, and no calls or texts, I haven't heard from you since the airport. September 2007, Jeremy and I were already official. I received a call from a number I didn't recognize, when I answered it was you. You tried to apologize, but it was already too late. Hearing that I had met someone else, set you off. I remember you said, "if you want to be with a real man, hit me up." Then you hung up, I haven't heard from you since. I was furious and didn't want anything to do with you, so I deleted your number, text messages, everything.
A year passed, it was our birthday, July 20, 2008. You instant messaged me, saying "Happy Birthday to us, I miss you." I ignored you, it made me curious to know if you were with someone new, but I didn't let it bother me. Another year passed, July 2009. You instant messaged me, you said, "Hey remember me?"
"Yeah..." I replied back.
"Our birthday is coming up. What are you doin'?"
"I know, I'm excited. Chillin', what about you?"
"Oh I see, chillin'. What's your number?"
"(123-456-7890)" <- not my number LOL!
Then you out of the blue called me.. I was getting ready to leave to hangout with my girl Nickie. You apologized for everything, and said what was up. It got to talking about how it was when I lived in Cali, till now. You said you missed me and you want me to move back. Start over. But I've been with Jeremy for 2 years, I love him. I'm not the type of person to go back to the past. You tried to get in the middle of me and Jeremy. I live somewhere else now and I'm happy. I told you everything that was on my mind and that we should be friends, nothing more.. You said you understand, but you didn't want to be friends cuz it's hard for you, especially cuz you want me. I'm sorry things are the way they are now. You were the one who kept disappearing, while I waited. I'm done with it, I found someone who I've been with for over 2 years now and I'm happy and in love.
You called me today at midnight. Telling me you, your cousin and his friends are all driving down here from the bay. If you're driving down here to Vegas just to see me, it's not worth it. I'm not worth a 6 hour drive for you. If were friends, let it be. There's a someone for everyone. She's out there, I know she is. Please, don't waste your time on me..
Monday, August 24, 2009
Quick Updates!
Long time, no write.
Quick updates!
- My 20th Birthday was a month ago (: feels kinda weird not being a teen anymore, AHA!
- Had a hotel party at the Trump, it was ammmazing!
- Got a puppy, he's a toy yorkie, & i love him to death. (:
- I made it into Hi-Fi Las Vegas.
- 2 Year Anniversary with boyfriend was on Aug. 21st. <3 width="316" height="303">
Quick updates!
- My 20th Birthday was a month ago (: feels kinda weird not being a teen anymore, AHA!
- Had a hotel party at the Trump, it was ammmazing!
- Got a puppy, he's a toy yorkie, & i love him to death. (:
- I made it into Hi-Fi Las Vegas.
- 2 Year Anniversary with boyfriend was on Aug. 21st. <3 width="316" height="303">
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Never Going To Be The Same Without You..
Sunday May 24, 2009
I was staying the weekend at my bubby's house, while I was getting ready for work, I heard my phone voicemail alarm go off, so on my way to work I check the message & it was my mom crying. She'd said my grandpa was rushed from the hospice to the hospital, & that he wasn't going to make it tonight. I called her back as soon as the message was over & it was my stepdad who answered & told me to call my bubby to pick me & take me to the hospital & to tell my boss to call him (my stepdad is my boss's boss), so he called him & my boss let me go. Bub drove back to my work to pick me up & we headed to my house so I can change out of my work uniform. After that, we headed down to the hospital. When we got there everything was fine for a little bit.... It, was just the sight of my grandpa that I couldn't help but want to cry the whole time, but bub was there to keep my head up. Some few minutes passed by & the nurse & doctor came in the room. The nurse started trying to comfort my grandma, & told us to say what we'd like to say to grandpa before it was too late. Throughout all the days of my life that I've spent with my grandma.. The moment she fell onto the chair next to my grandpa & just started hysterically crying --- my whole world went dark. My grandma said everything she wanted to tell my grandpa; the cutest things I've ever heard. An hour past, my stepdad broke the silence with jokes to make us all laugh, it was time to give grandpa a bath & everyone got hungry, so my mom, stepdad, grandma, bub & I, all went down the street to grab a bite to eat for 30 minutes then went back to the hospital. When we got back, my parents said that bub & I didn't have to stay, so I held my grandpa's hand, listened to my stepdad make jokes so my grandpa could wake up & so I could see him smile one last time, bub said what he wanted to say, then my grandpa held my hand tightly & I gave him a kiss on the forehead & told him I loved him, that he was my superhero & that we'll see eachother again soon, then kissed him on the forehead again. I let go of his hand, then tears started coming up on my eyes & we left. A couple hours later my mom & grandma were home, & then bub went to go break with the guys. Right after bub left, my stepdad came home & took my grandma back down to the hospital, & my mom was in her room.. 8:55 p.m. my mom got a call, open her room door crying & told me grandpa was gone... My mind went blank, I didn't even know what I was doing or where I was going. I walked into my room & fell onto my knees hysterical. Things weren't going to be the same. The house would always feel incomplete, empty.. Like a part of it is missing. I wouldn't hear the Filipino Channel anymore, or hear the karoke machine like how it should sound.. 'Cause it wouldn't be the same. Work won't be the same, because now everyone's going to look at my with sympathy & all that it will make me want to do is cry..
Find the cure for lung cancer.
I had to go back to work the next day... Bad idea. But I had no choice or else I'd lose my job. So one of my managers told me to check with human resources to give me a few bereavement days.. I really need it. But they let me go after 2 hours on the clock & bub came to pick me up & we went to his grandparents house for a barbeque. Afterwards, bub went to session with the guys, then came back to my house & we went to chinatown to eat sushi. Keeping my mind occupied is always helpful, but when your alone sorrow is like your new best friend. Even when you're thinking of the good times.
You'll always be my superhero. You'll always be my motivation, my inspiration, my hope. You're always in my prayers and forever in my heart. You'll always be my angel grandpa,
I miss you & I love you Lolo. Rest In Paradise. April 12, 1942 to May 24, 2009
I was staying the weekend at my bubby's house, while I was getting ready for work, I heard my phone voicemail alarm go off, so on my way to work I check the message & it was my mom crying. She'd said my grandpa was rushed from the hospice to the hospital, & that he wasn't going to make it tonight. I called her back as soon as the message was over & it was my stepdad who answered & told me to call my bubby to pick me & take me to the hospital & to tell my boss to call him (my stepdad is my boss's boss), so he called him & my boss let me go. Bub drove back to my work to pick me up & we headed to my house so I can change out of my work uniform. After that, we headed down to the hospital. When we got there everything was fine for a little bit.... It, was just the sight of my grandpa that I couldn't help but want to cry the whole time, but bub was there to keep my head up. Some few minutes passed by & the nurse & doctor came in the room. The nurse started trying to comfort my grandma, & told us to say what we'd like to say to grandpa before it was too late. Throughout all the days of my life that I've spent with my grandma.. The moment she fell onto the chair next to my grandpa & just started hysterically crying --- my whole world went dark. My grandma said everything she wanted to tell my grandpa; the cutest things I've ever heard. An hour past, my stepdad broke the silence with jokes to make us all laugh, it was time to give grandpa a bath & everyone got hungry, so my mom, stepdad, grandma, bub & I, all went down the street to grab a bite to eat for 30 minutes then went back to the hospital. When we got back, my parents said that bub & I didn't have to stay, so I held my grandpa's hand, listened to my stepdad make jokes so my grandpa could wake up & so I could see him smile one last time, bub said what he wanted to say, then my grandpa held my hand tightly & I gave him a kiss on the forehead & told him I loved him, that he was my superhero & that we'll see eachother again soon, then kissed him on the forehead again. I let go of his hand, then tears started coming up on my eyes & we left. A couple hours later my mom & grandma were home, & then bub went to go break with the guys. Right after bub left, my stepdad came home & took my grandma back down to the hospital, & my mom was in her room.. 8:55 p.m. my mom got a call, open her room door crying & told me grandpa was gone... My mind went blank, I didn't even know what I was doing or where I was going. I walked into my room & fell onto my knees hysterical. Things weren't going to be the same. The house would always feel incomplete, empty.. Like a part of it is missing. I wouldn't hear the Filipino Channel anymore, or hear the karoke machine like how it should sound.. 'Cause it wouldn't be the same. Work won't be the same, because now everyone's going to look at my with sympathy & all that it will make me want to do is cry..
Find the cure for lung cancer.
I had to go back to work the next day... Bad idea. But I had no choice or else I'd lose my job. So one of my managers told me to check with human resources to give me a few bereavement days.. I really need it. But they let me go after 2 hours on the clock & bub came to pick me up & we went to his grandparents house for a barbeque. Afterwards, bub went to session with the guys, then came back to my house & we went to chinatown to eat sushi. Keeping my mind occupied is always helpful, but when your alone sorrow is like your new best friend. Even when you're thinking of the good times.
You'll always be my superhero. You'll always be my motivation, my inspiration, my hope. You're always in my prayers and forever in my heart. You'll always be my angel grandpa,
I miss you & I love you Lolo. Rest In Paradise. April 12, 1942 to May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Ups & Downs
Wow. I'm bored. So I'm watching Get Smart, pretty funny aha.
The past week and a half has been pretty chill. Last weekend hungout with my girls; Nickie, Chelsea and Ivette. Met some new faces, made some new friends. It was a good night. Work is just same old crap, just a different day.. Hate it there, but love some of the people I work with.
So I was supposed to go to Colorado this week, to visit my cousin for his graduation, sadly I can't, because of essential family issues, which doesn't include drama, it's more like heartache ): My family is scared and worried about a certain family member who means a lot to every single one of us. But anyway.. So I requested the two days off that I wanted so I can go, but since I'm not going anymore, I have time to spend with my family, my bubby and my friends. Let me tell you, these days off feel hella long.. But I'm enjoying it (:
The other night, they let me out of work early, and bub picked me up. Spent the rest of the day together and then he went to session with the guys, came back to my house and spent the night (: Yesterday spent the whole day together and applied for jobs.. Man, why is it soo difficult to get a effing job out here, it's ridiculous. He found his perfect dream car; exactly how he wants it and he wouldn't have to fix it up or anything, and he feels hopeless because he doesn't have a job to save up and get the car. I feel so bad for my bubby.. Stay positive babe.
He heals me. <3>
The past week and a half has been pretty chill. Last weekend hungout with my girls; Nickie, Chelsea and Ivette. Met some new faces, made some new friends. It was a good night. Work is just same old crap, just a different day.. Hate it there, but love some of the people I work with.
So I was supposed to go to Colorado this week, to visit my cousin for his graduation, sadly I can't, because of essential family issues, which doesn't include drama, it's more like heartache ): My family is scared and worried about a certain family member who means a lot to every single one of us. But anyway.. So I requested the two days off that I wanted so I can go, but since I'm not going anymore, I have time to spend with my family, my bubby and my friends. Let me tell you, these days off feel hella long.. But I'm enjoying it (:
The other night, they let me out of work early, and bub picked me up. Spent the rest of the day together and then he went to session with the guys, came back to my house and spent the night (: Yesterday spent the whole day together and applied for jobs.. Man, why is it soo difficult to get a effing job out here, it's ridiculous. He found his perfect dream car; exactly how he wants it and he wouldn't have to fix it up or anything, and he feels hopeless because he doesn't have a job to save up and get the car. I feel so bad for my bubby.. Stay positive babe.
He heals me. <3>
Friday, May 8, 2009
Newbie!
This is odd.
I mean, yeah --- this is odd, heh.
It's been awhile since I even had one of these, well xanga, actually but yeah.
Anyway.. So here's the quick intro on me.
I'm Mila pronounced mee-luh. I'm from Sacramento, CA. Before that I used to live in Castle Rock, CO. Now, I live in Las Vegas, NV.. Believe me when I tell you, it's not all that great like most people would say or think. Um, I moved here summer 2007, with my mom, stepdad and grandparents. Dancer for 15 years. Music & Reading. I love my family & friends. The end (:
Topic of the Day:
Boyfriend - [0821071140] Is how long we've been together. For now, he's going to remain anonymous. (: But anyway, it has been quite an adventure with him. Ever since day one, I've been head over heels for his guy, till this day I still feel the same way. My favorite everything<3 He's like my superman (: LOL. We've been through a lot together, through thick & thin. He stood up for me & protected me from those who literally tried to hurt me, he even walked almost 2 hours & running a fever all the way down to my house at 12am one summer night*<3 style="font-style: italic;">us against the world and it seems like it will always be that way. I am proud to say that he IS my first true love, & I've never been so blessed to have someone so amazing, like a fallen angel, stick with me for so long and accept me for being me. True hubby status (x my ride or die. No one & no relationship is perfect, so don't have so high of expectations in the person or relationship. There are times when he drives me insane, but that's how it all works, he calls me his little bi-polar bear. My friend said "the heart chooses who it wants" (: and even till this day I wonder what he sees in me, to choose me of all girls, lol. Many people say we fit together perfectly, by how we look, how we act sometimes, how stubborn we are, and how we hate to admitt when one or the other is right lmao! I guess that's what he saw haha, a challenge & a perfect match. The guitarist fell in love with a dancer<3 it's our never ending fairytale.
I mean, yeah --- this is odd, heh.
It's been awhile since I even had one of these, well xanga, actually but yeah.
Anyway.. So here's the quick intro on me.
I'm Mila pronounced mee-luh. I'm from Sacramento, CA. Before that I used to live in Castle Rock, CO. Now, I live in Las Vegas, NV.. Believe me when I tell you, it's not all that great like most people would say or think. Um, I moved here summer 2007, with my mom, stepdad and grandparents. Dancer for 15 years. Music & Reading. I love my family & friends. The end (:
Topic of the Day:
Boyfriend - [0821071140] Is how long we've been together. For now, he's going to remain anonymous. (: But anyway, it has been quite an adventure with him. Ever since day one, I've been head over heels for his guy, till this day I still feel the same way. My favorite everything<3 He's like my superman (: LOL. We've been through a lot together, through thick & thin. He stood up for me & protected me from those who literally tried to hurt me, he even walked almost 2 hours & running a fever all the way down to my house at 12am one summer night*<3 style="font-style: italic;">us against the world and it seems like it will always be that way. I am proud to say that he IS my first true love, & I've never been so blessed to have someone so amazing, like a fallen angel, stick with me for so long and accept me for being me. True hubby status (x my ride or die. No one & no relationship is perfect, so don't have so high of expectations in the person or relationship. There are times when he drives me insane, but that's how it all works, he calls me his little bi-polar bear. My friend said "the heart chooses who it wants" (: and even till this day I wonder what he sees in me, to choose me of all girls, lol. Many people say we fit together perfectly, by how we look, how we act sometimes, how stubborn we are, and how we hate to admitt when one or the other is right lmao! I guess that's what he saw haha, a challenge & a perfect match. The guitarist fell in love with a dancer<3 it's our never ending fairytale.
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