Never Going To Be The Same Without You..

Sunday May 24, 2009

I was staying the weekend at my bubby's house, while I was getting ready for work, I heard my phone voicemail alarm go off, so on my way to work I check the message & it was my mom crying. She'd said my grandpa was rushed from the hospice to the hospital, & that he wasn't going to make it tonight. I called her back as soon as the message was over & it was my stepdad who answered & told me to call my bubby to pick me & take me to the hospital & to tell my boss to call him (my stepdad is my boss's boss), so he called him & my boss let me go. Bub drove back to my work to pick me up & we headed to my house so I can change out of my work uniform. After that, we headed down to the hospital. When we got there everything was fine for a little bit.... It, was just the sight of my grandpa that I couldn't help but want to cry the whole time, but bub was there to keep my head up. Some few minutes passed by & the nurse & doctor came in the room. The nurse started trying to comfort my grandma, & told us to say what we'd like to say to grandpa before it was too late. Throughout all the days of my life that I've spent with my grandma.. The moment she fell onto the chair next to my grandpa & just started hysterically crying --- my whole world went dark. My grandma said everything she wanted to tell my grandpa; the cutest things I've ever heard. An hour past, my stepdad broke the silence with jokes to make us all laugh, it was time to give grandpa a bath & everyone got hungry, so my mom, stepdad, grandma, bub & I, all went down the street to grab a bite to eat for 30 minutes then went back to the hospital. When we got back, my parents said that bub & I didn't have to stay, so I held my grandpa's hand, listened to my stepdad make jokes so my grandpa could wake up & so I could see him smile one last time, bub said what he wanted to say, then my grandpa held my hand tightly & I gave him a kiss on the forehead & told him I loved him, that he was my superhero & that we'll see eachother again soon, then kissed him on the forehead again. I let go of his hand, then tears started coming up on my eyes & we left. A couple hours later my mom & grandma were home, & then bub went to go break with the guys. Right after bub left, my stepdad came home & took my grandma back down to the hospital, & my mom was in her room.. 8:55 p.m. my mom got a call, open her room door crying & told me grandpa was gone... My mind went blank, I didn't even know what I was doing or where I was going. I walked into my room & fell onto my knees hysterical. Things weren't going to be the same. The house would always feel incomplete, empty.. Like a part of it is missing. I wouldn't hear the Filipino Channel anymore, or hear the karoke machine like how it should sound.. 'Cause it wouldn't be the same. Work won't be the same, because now everyone's going to look at my with sympathy & all that it will make me want to do is cry..

Find the cure for lung cancer.

I had to go back to work the next day... Bad idea. But I had no choice or else I'd lose my job. So one of my managers told me to check with human resources to give me a few bereavement days.. I really need it. But they let me go after 2 hours on the clock & bub came to pick me up & we went to his grandparents house for a barbeque. Afterwards, bub went to session with the guys, then came back to my house & we went to chinatown to eat sushi. Keeping my mind occupied is always helpful, but when your alone sorrow is like your new best friend. Even when you're thinking of the good times.


You'll always be my superhero. You'll always be my motivation, my inspiration, my hope. You're always in my prayers and forever in my heart. You'll always be my angel grandpa,
I miss you & I love you Lolo. Rest In Paradise. April 12, 1942 to May 24, 2009

Ups & Downs

Wow. I'm bored. So I'm watching Get Smart, pretty funny aha.
The past week and a half has been pretty chill. Last weekend hungout with my girls; Nickie, Chelsea and Ivette. Met some new faces, made some new friends. It was a good night. Work is just same old crap, just a different day.. Hate it there, but love some of the people I work with.

So I was supposed to go to Colorado this week, to visit my cousin for his graduation, sadly I can't, because of essential family issues, which doesn't include drama, it's more like heartache ): My family is scared and worried about a certain family member who means a lot to every single one of us. But anyway.. So I requested the two days off that I wanted so I can go, but since I'm not going anymore, I have time to spend with my family, my bubby and my friends. Let me tell you, these days off feel hella long.. But I'm enjoying it (:

The other night, they let me out of work early, and bub picked me up. Spent the rest of the day together and then he went to session with the guys, came back to my house and spent the night (: Yesterday spent the whole day together and applied for jobs.. Man, why is it soo difficult to get a effing job out here, it's ridiculous. He found his perfect dream car; exactly how he wants it and he wouldn't have to fix it up or anything, and he feels hopeless because he doesn't have a job to save up and get the car. I feel so bad for my bubby.. Stay positive babe.
He heals me. <3>

Newbie!

This is odd.
I mean, yeah --- this is odd, heh.
It's been awhile since I even had one of these, well xanga, actually but yeah.

Anyway.. So here's the quick intro on me.
I'm Mila pronounced mee-luh. I'm from Sacramento, CA. Before that I used to live in Castle Rock, CO. Now, I live in Las Vegas, NV.. Believe me when I tell you, it's not all that great like most people would say or think. Um, I moved here summer 2007, with my mom, stepdad and grandparents. Dancer for 15 years. Music & Reading. I love my family & friends. The end (:

Topic of the Day:

Boyfriend - [0821071140] Is how long we've been together. For now, he's going to remain anonymous. (: But anyway, it has been quite an adventure with him. Ever since day one, I've been head over heels for his guy, till this day I still feel the same way. My favorite everything<3 He's like my superman (: LOL. We've been through a lot together, through thick & thin. He stood up for me & protected me from those who literally tried to hurt me, he even walked almost 2 hours & running a fever all the way down to my house at 12am one summer night*<3 style="font-style: italic;">us against the world and it seems like it will always be that way. I am proud to say that he IS my first true love, & I've never been so blessed to have someone so amazing, like a fallen angel, stick with me for so long and accept me for being me. True hubby status (x my ride or die. No one & no relationship is perfect, so don't have so high of expectations in the person or relationship. There are times when he drives me insane, but that's how it all works, he calls me his little bi-polar bear. My friend said "the heart chooses who it wants" (: and even till this day I wonder what he sees in me, to choose me of all girls, lol. Many people say we fit together perfectly, by how we look, how we act sometimes, how stubborn we are, and how we hate to admitt when one or the other is right lmao! I guess that's what he saw haha, a challenge & a perfect match. The guitarist fell in love with a dancer<3 it's our never ending fairytale.